With foreclosures at an all-time high, the Postal Service is taking the initiative to
accommodate the skyrocketing number of American homeowners who drop their
house keys in the mailbox just prior to eviction. "This is a win-win for average
Americans, and the post office" said postmaster general John Potter as he unveiled
the mailbox, deemed the Jingle Mail 4000. “With the new 'keys inside' flag feature,
postal employees will no longer be confused about why a set of house keys are in the
mailbox .”
A spokesman for the Post Office, Timothy Clarrens, stated that keys placed in
mailboxes had become a critical issue in the last 18 months as the already financially-
strapped mail service was losing a significant amount of money dealing with the issue.
"We were accidentally sending keys to every part of the globe and back" said
Timothy Clarrens, "these things never had postage and, even worse, sets of keys
don't mesh well with machines designed to manage standard envelopes."
Critics contend that the new mailbox merely enables a deeper issue related to
unemployment and the economic crisis. Concerns have also been raised that, though
it is a rarely used function, owners of the new mailbox will not be able to indicate to
when legitimate mail is ready to be sent out.
"We determined that few people these days were using the flags for their original
purpose" continued Clarrens, "....and let's be honest, the people who are going to buy
this thing don't have outgoing mail since they never pay bills anyway."
The new mailbox is already a hit in states that have the highest rates of foreclosure,
including California, Arizona, Nevada and Florida. Says Clarrens "We're excited
about this; it shows the Post Office is flexible and works for you."
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