I am more or less in the custody of law enforcement at present. I'm using a borrowed laptop in a bathroom, the only access I have to the outside world at the moment.
First of all, I would like to apologise to the people of Arizona, the United States and the world for the damage my son has done. My heart and prayers go [out to] Jared's many victims and their families. This is the worst nightmare that any mother can suffer, a son turned into a mass murderer.
I knew my son had mental problems. I attempted to deal with them as best I could. I even asked that Jared be placed in locked mental ward at one point. But my best efforts came to nothing. I did not know he had purchased a gun. I would have never allowed it in my home had I known.
What was I to do? Throw him on the street? He couldn't survive on his own. He couldn't hold a job. I am told by federal law enforcement that I'm being threatened with death as the mother of a monster. Death threats do not worry me. I have nothing to live for. I will be hounded for the rest of my life. Death would be mercy for me.
What drove Jared over the edge into murder? It could have been any number of things. I do know that [he] posted on under the name of "Blue Bell" or "Blueboy" ....blue something. I was curious about his postings on the Internet, and as he was using the family computer at this time, I looked at the "History" and discovered his interest in the Daily Kos website where much hate and profanity are displayed.
Please publish this Email. I want the world to know his mother knew nothing about an assassination plot. I want the world to know Jared's family are victims of his madness as well.
Yours, Amy Loughner
AN OBAMA HOAX? GIFFORDS OPENED EYES DAYS AGO