BY RON BARBOUR
Yes, THE DAY is coming, friend Elmo.
No doubt it will happen on a beautiful sunny day like September 11, 2001 - We will wake up one morning and go to our jobs (if we still have a job) or be sleeping late hung over because we don't have a job anymore.
How will we know something terrible has happened?
EVERYTHING WILL STOP!
First the electric goes off without warning...
We walk outside the office building in a large American city and notice the traffic in gridlock, as the control lights are dead...We see a man with a portable radio "Boom Box" tuning his dial, "Nothing on the air," he yells to the crowd milling around him who have already noticed their cell phones, laptops and other electronics cannot find a signal.
The crowd grows ever larger as more and more business people, clerks and customers continue to pour out of the dead high rise buildings, except those trapped in elevators between floors who are doomed to death if they don't escape before the air supply is used up.
Thousands ask one another, "What the hell just happened?" Thousands of voices respond, "Don't know! The electric suddenly went off and everything is on batteries. All stations are off the air and the Internet is down."
Then suddenly the "Boom Box" speaker springs into life and a voice that can be heard for blocks at high volume shouts,
"This is Tea Party emergency radio: PATRIOTS TO ARMS! The Obama Communist Regime is conducting a coup designed to seize total control of The Republic. The first stage of the putsch is to shut off the power grid and Internet. The second stage will be for armed communist and Islamists revolutionists to seize government and communication centers. This act of treason must be met with brutal and lethal force. All police, military and militia loyal to the Republic are to wear blue arm bands, whose wearing red bands are the traitors of President Obama and should be immediately fired upon and killed if necessary...."
"THIS JUST IN FROM TEA PARTY REVOLUTION HEADQUARTERS: A provisional revolutionary Congress has just taken power in Washington, D.C. and ordered an attack on the White House in order to arrest President Obama for treason. This attack is led by the U.S. Army's Third Infantry from Ft. Myers and the USMC from the Marine barracks in Washington, D.C. These units are under the command of Army Major General Conway, the newly appointed Commander-In-Chief of the U.S. military. ALL AMERICAN MILITARY UNITS IN THE WORLD ARE TO OBEY ORDERS FROM GENERAL CONWAY ONLY AND TO IMMEDIATELY ARREST OFFICERS LOYAL TO PRESIDENT OBAMA..."
(The sound of machine gun fire...voices in the distance) "The enemy has just attacked this radio station. We will soon be off the air. AMERICANS: DEFEND YOUR REVOLUTION!!!"(Machine gun fire close. The sound of a falling body...Silence...)
The crowd is dazed. A small old woman with gray hair pulls a large handgun out of her purse points it to the air and cries, "Let's march on the Federal Building and shoot all the damn traitors!" The crowd looks at her in shocked disbelief." A young burly black policeman in full riot gear walks over to her. The crowd notices he wears a red arm band.
The old white woman lowers her weapon to her side, but shows no sign of surrender in her pale blue ice cold eyes as the policeman pulls out his service weapon and holds it at the ready in his meaty hand.. "High Noon?" wonders the crowd. The officer remains silent...frozen...like a robot who is confused by orders in conflict.
A middle age businessman in an expensive suit walks over the confused cop, pulls off the red arm band, throws it to the ground and spits on it!
The ice is broken, the crowd breaks out in applause. The businessman asks the cop, "Are you with us or against us, brother? If you're with us, lead us! If you're against us, give me the gun and get the hell out of the way!"
Robot cop has been reprogrammed in an instant and says in tinny voice, "My job is to protect and serve. Clearly, the Federal Building is under the control of criminals. I'll need back up to get them out. If you are brave and have a gun available follow me. I'm Sergeant Nightlinger of the Seventh Precinct."
The beginning of the Second American Revolution....
*Political satire and protected speech under the First Amendment