Sunday, August 16, 2015
DEATH IN SEATTLE: ASSASSINATION BY CAR AT PIKE STREET MARKET
I just discovered the news video report of my attempted murder in Seattle last Thursday:
Yes, that’s the portly Ronbo waiting medical care in the mean streets of Seattle.
The people interviewed gave an excellent account of the hair raising assassination attempt on the life of AGENT RONBO, formerly a top notch spy for the shadowy U.S. Army Security Agency in Berlin during the Cold War in the 1970s, who was hit by a speeding automobile on his well padded behind, and then flew up and over the would-be black SMERSH death mobile that was driven by the psychopath Boris Badenoff, an elderly contract assassin of the former Soviet Berlin SMERSH (DEATH TO SPIES!).
AGENT RONBO saved himself when he executed a beautiful U.S. Army Security Agency Rogue Car Survival Technique 101 learned at Ft. Devens, Massachusetts in the 1960s, whereby an agent who is about run over and killed by Soviet SMERSH personnel turns and takes the impact of the collusion on his butt, which ejects the agent high into the air while the rogue vehicle runs harmlessly under him. The agent while airborne does a back flip in mid air before hitting the pavement on his feet in the rear of death mobile with his service automatic blazing hot lead at his would-be killers!
Unfortunately, being old and out of shape, I landed on my head instead of my feet and didn't have a gun to blaze away with at the speeding car.
DAMN IT, PRIVATE SMITHSON! BRING UP THE M-60 AND PUT SOME 7.62 MM MACHINE GUN ROUNDS ON THOSE COMMIE BASTARDS HIDING IN THE JUNGLE!
(OOPS! A flashback of Vietnam ’68)
....really, folks, I’m okay….