Like any other day, Russian President Vladimir Putin woke up, shaved himself with a sharpened axe (didn't even use shaving cream), and then mentioned casually to a reporter, “To forgive the terrorists is up to God, but to send them to him is up to me.” Sweet mercy.
We are going to pursue terrorists everywhere. If they are in the airport, we will pursue them in the airport. And if we capture them in the toilet, then we will waste them in the outhouse. … The issue has been resolved once and for all.