Saturday, June 18, 2016

7th century killer mystic meets his 21st century magical thinking victim

Muslim Terrorist: “We did this because our holy KORAN exhort us make jihad on the unbelievers in 164 verses.”

Regressive Left: “No you didn’t.”

Muslim Terrorist: “Wait, what? Yes we did…”

Regressive Left “No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a front for social and geopolitical reasons.”

Muslim Terrorist: “WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit Quranic justification. This is jihad, a holy crusade against pagans, blasphemers, and disbelievers.”

Regressive Left: “No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and you defame a great religion by saying so.”

Muslim Terrorist: “Huh!? Who are you to tell us we’re not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the core of everything we do, and we have implemented the truest most literal and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being.”

Regressive Left: “Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that alienates and disenfranchises you, and that’s why you did this. We’re sorry.”

Muslim Terrorist “What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the streets. We targeted unwitting civilians – disenfranchisement doesn’t even enter into it!”

Regressive Left “Listen, it’s our fault. We don’t blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing out.”

Muslim Terrorist “Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off, and we’re not going to let you take it away from us.”

Regressive Left “No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame.”

Muslim Terrorist “OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our message across?”

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