Friday, November 17, 2017


Headlines LNN News:
Nuntasa,Artego 10/14/2035
WHO officials have stated today that there has been an outbreak of a newly discovered airborne bacterial pathogen officially named CG2035A.Investigators on the scene have said that as many as 300 people have been infected in the remote village of Rotungia approximately 600km northwest of the capitol city of Nuntasa.
So far the bacteria has shown signs that it is completely resistient to all but the most exotic antibiotics.According to Dr Rashnisi Umbegwo of the WHO -“This is one of the most rapidly advancing infectious bacteria we have ever seen” “those who become infected by it are usually bed ridden in a matter of a few hours and death usually occurs within six hours of first symptoms”

In other news,Congress today has over ridden President Slater’s veto of the “Mammalain Marriage Rights Ammendment” allowing those who wish to engage in extra-species marriage to finally wed.The announcement came just minutes before Jason Ogulthrope married his partner of 3 years in a ceremony attended by the Groom’s family and the Bride’s Herd.
Headlines LNN News
Nuntasa,Artego 12/14/2035
WHO officials have stated that the death toll from the recent outbreak of CG2035A now more Popularly known as “Ebola Artego” has reached 45,000 and climbing. Dr.Rashini Umbegwo who has since recently succumbed to the disease had stated before his death that this pathogen has the potential to be a “burn through” meaning entire healthy populations in affected areas could be wiped out if a cure is not developed shortly.
In other news French President Jacque Hollande,grandson of former President Francois Hollande has stated that “France has agreed to accept refugees from the country of Artego” in a speech delivered in Brussells he said “we must open our hearts and our homes to these courageous survivors in their time of need”.He later brushed off concerns by the main opposition party that allowing Artegian refugees to enter France could lead to an outbreak as being -“racist and ignorant” and further stated that such backward thinking has “no place in France”.
Headlines LNN News
Paris,France 1/15/2036
French Health officials today confirmed an outbreak of CG3035A also known as “Ebola Artego” in the French city of Armond.So far as many as 35 people have been confirmed as having died from the contagian with another 570 currently infected.
A second outbreak has also been reported in Hamburg,Germany where an estimated 18 people have died and another 400 have been infected.
In a statement German Chancellor Hellen Graff stated that reports that the two outbreaks were in anyway related to the recent transfer of Artegian refugees were “totally preposterous and borderline racist” she went on to say “diversity is our strength and any talk of quarantining these refugees into camps are from voices who are wanting to return Germany to our darkest past”.
Headlines LNN News
London,UK 4/23/2036
Officials with the NHS have confirmed that despite the government’s quarantine of all commercial traffic from the European continent there have been four cases of Ebola Artego reported in a village south of Surry.
In other news international condemnation continues to mount after Russian president Victor Polniyarcov stated that he would use nuclear weapons to build a “impenetrable travel barrier” to prevent the possibility of infected persons from entering Russian territory.In a statement earlier today he was quoted as saying-“look,the time for action is long past.I cannot and will not allow this sickness to infect mother Russia the way it has Western Europe” he went on to say “one would think the deaths of 45 million people on the continent would have spurred those in leadership to action,but sadly they seem immune to reason even as they huddle in their NBC proof bunkers as their people die around them”
Headlines LNN News
Bangkok,Thailand 6/11/2036
Chinese officials sealed all borders with their neighbors today.The Chinese Ministry of travel stated that their international borders will remain sealed indefinitely as fears of what is now being called a “global pandemic of historic proportions” could spread to Asia.Chinese minister of Health Jung Xi Ho said in a statement -” we have had much success containing the spread of the pathogen into China as the Himalayan mountain range with it’s extreme cold has dramatically slowed the spread of the pathogen.That condition combined with India’s co-operation in establishing a quarantine zone in the former Pakistan has meant we have been able to effectively contain any outbreaks as they are detected”
U.N.Human rights officials have stated that they believe the “containment” the Chinese refer to is actually liquidation of the infected villages.Human Right’s activist Susana Reed Thompson in a statement said-” what China is doing is slaughtering mass numbers of villagers using massive high altitude bombardment with Napalm and Phosphorous incendiaries,both of which are banned under UN chapter human rights agreements.” she also found it ironic that China who was just last year complaining about the outcome of the brief nuclear exchange between the former Pakistan and India,today has found a new ally in India.
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Washington D.C. 7/19/2036
Today marks the fifteenth anniversary of the 7/19 terror attack that saw much of the Island of Manhattan reduced to smoldering rubble after a low yield nuclear weapon was detonated at ground level by the terrorist group Abo Ziniev.
President Slater said in a speech today that-“the forces of terror had exacted a terrible cost on the nation,but through courage and undying determination of our civilian population and military’s combined efforts we were able to achieve ultimate victory over the Islamic global terror threat once and for all”.
This all comes as his administration is facing new charges after he ordered a Congolese Airliner carrying 256 refugees fleeing the devastation, that some say will leave the continent of Africa uninhabitable for decades,shot down as it approached the American east coast.
Headlines LNN News
Washington D.C. 9/20/2036
The Japanese ambassador today announced that Rising Star station,the nation’s $650 billion dollar permanent Mars Colony built as a joint venture with the US and South Korea has completed accepting the last of it’s 360 permanent inhabitants.The Colony designed to house and provide the needs for the 360 people living there can operate indefinitely and will provide kind of a “Noah’s Ark” for a carefully selected group of individuals to be isolated from the devastation of Earth and to hopefully provide a large enough “genetic catalog” in the event things on Earth take a turn for the worse.
In other news after the the estimated global death toll from “Ebola Artego” has reached 3.4 Billion,scientists are saying they have seen a slowing in the numbers of new cases.While they are not sure if it is due to changes in the bacteria itself,or the numbers shifts from the quarantine areas that have been erected and enforced around the globe,it does come as welcome news that maybe they have a bit more time to purse a cure.
This all comes on the eve of the 75th Global Conference on Climate Change after it’s venue had to be changed due to unusually early,heavy snowfall at the Phoenix,Arizona conference location.
Headlines LNN News
Washington D.C. 11/17/2036
Impeachment hearings are set to move forward today against President Slater as millions of women march on the nations capitol in support of this unprecedented action. Spokeswoman Any Heardon Smith said in a statement-” we rally today an army of women,determined to see President Slater’s rule of misogyny,racism and bigotry be brought to an end” she continued by saying-” his racist defense of the patriarchal establishment and his bigoted views and treatment of our global neighbors will not stand” ” people from the affected nations should be allowed to come here and seek refuge while we search for a cure”
The impeachment began after president Slater had disbanded the Supreme Court in the fallout of it’s landmark 6-3 decision to overturn the president’s Executive order banning travel into the US from nations where the “Ebola Artego” pathogen had been detected.
In a statement President Slater said in his defense-“my administration and myself have done everything in our power to protect this nation from the terrible global pandemic that has killed nearly 1/3 of the Earth’s population” he continued on to note that since the initial outbreak,not a single case of “Ebola Artego” had been confirmed on US soil.
Solar date 213.41.c44
Organa III institute of Stellar Cartography
Our lesson today is that of a peculiar case of self-destruction we recently observed on a type 5 humanoid planet in orbit around the star NC72285 some 35 light years away from the Oranga system.
An entire population of some 7.9 Billion has ceased to exist the result of a runaway bacterial pandemic.The troubling factor is not their demise,but rather how it occurred. It seems that a small,highly vocal group of humans successfully incapacitated and over ruled the leadership of the various societies,except for a few that had managed to stave off their territories from the ravages of the pandemic.
Curiously,once those in the group had gained control of one of the stronger nations weapons arsenal,they began threatening the remaining enclaves with attack,unless they too accepted disease carriers as refugees.The nations that did not resist took in a small number of the sick and within weeks their entire populations had died off.Those that did resist were attacked and destroyed with primitive atomic weapons.
Some debate was given among the seven planets in our system as to whether or not we should attempt to make contact with a small group of 360 remaining individuals on a primitive colony located on the fourth planet from the star.However the debate was ended when it was decided the bacterial pathogen must also have some neurological component. It is after all the only plausible explanation for the irrational few known as “Liberals”.

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