Monday, January 10, 2011


Dear Mr. Barbour:

I am more or less in the custody of law enforcement at present. I'm using a borrowed laptop in a bathroom, the only access I have to the outside world at the moment.

First of all, I would like to apologise to the people of Arizona, the United States and the world for the damage my son has done. My heart and prayers go [out to] Jared's many victims and their families. This is the worst nightmare that any mother can suffer, a son turned into a mass murderer.

I knew my son had mental problems. I attempted to deal with them as best I could. I even asked that Jared be placed in locked mental ward at one point. But my best efforts came to nothing. I did not know he had purchased a gun. I would have never allowed it in my home had I known.

What was I to do? Throw him on the street? He couldn't survive on his own. He couldn't hold a job. I am told by federal law enforcement that I'm being threatened with death as the mother of a monster. Death threats do not worry me. I have nothing to live for. I will be hounded for the rest of my life. Death would be mercy for me.

What drove Jared over the edge into murder? It could have been any number of things. I do know that [he] posted on Daily Kos under the name of "Blue Bell" or "Blueboy" something. I was curious about his postings on the Internet, and as he was using the family computer at this time, I looked at the "History" and discovered his interest in the Daily Kos website where much hate and profanity are displayed.

Please publish this Email. I want the world to know his mother knew nothing about an assassination plot. I want the world to know Jared's family are victims of his madness as well.

Yours, Amy Loughner






Dr. DJ said...

Dear Amy Loughner,

Thank you for writing an email message to the world. Your pain comes through your words. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Please do not blame yourself.

For my doctoral dissertation through UCLA I conducted a study on mentally ill teenagers. It is not your fault what has happened. Your son is his own person.

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday."

I hope you can find some peace in these words.

DJ Chandler, Ph.D.

Dr. DJ said...

I hope this letter is authentic.

Ronbo said...

@Dr. DJ:

Thank you for the kind words.

I know from personal experience what a felony arrest and Media attention of a family member can do to the innocent members of the same family, who, in many cases, haven't a clue to what the guilty party has done until after the fact.

In regards to the Email in question - the address is

The Email could be a hoax, however, many media outlets - ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN and so forth have made this terrible tragedy a political issue, so Amy may have had no luck getting her side of the story out any other way, since the MSM is not interested in this angle.